Private equity fund Mithras Capital, which holds 1.9 million shares of Yahoo (about 0.14%), will propose to Microsoft that they buy Yahoo at $22 per share, Reuters reports. Microsoft would then unload Yahoo’s Asian assets adn non-search businesses, take $3 billion worth of cost savings and some tax benefits, and end up with Yahoo’s search business for $10.3 billion.  Microsoft is obviously thrilled to see this kind of corporate chaos at Yahoo, although they are unlikely to even respond to the proposal. (http://www.techcrunch.com/2008/10/09/yahoo-shareholder-asks-microsoft-to-re-bid-at-22 10/9)

NHL.com dropped the puck on its new online subscription service GameCenter Live powered by NeuLion, offering users a free weekend-long trial beginning today to watch the season's first games. The streaming video service will offer up to 40-games a week (local blackouts apply) with a variety of interactive features including multiple camera angles for select games and a multi-view option that allows you to keep an eye on 4 games at once. Sign up before Oct. 15 to lock in a special rate of $19.95/month payable in monthly installments or $159 for the season. (Cynopsis 10/10)

i-Rights, part of the Digital Rights Group (DRG) has signed a three-year deal to distribute Bebo's 10 part online comedy series Chelsey:OMG!, a fish-out-of-water tale about a young American girl in London for the first time. (Cynopsis 10/10)

I dig the trailer at least.  It’s like a younger, more American version of Bridget Jones Diary.  I really need these online series to word on their reminder functionality because requiring the audience to remember a series online in a non-appointment viewing world is near impossible.

Socially enlightened integrated media company GOOD launched a new six-part web series, Wild Frontier of Sports, appearing exclusively on social networking site Imeem. (Cynopsis 10/10)

The first video to load up was devoted to Dodgeball and specifically the rise of Dodgeball in Brooklyn.  Hysterical and well done.  I’d like to send this video shout-out to Evan, the number one Dodgeball fanatic in my friend group.

MoMedia International has agreed to a distribution deal with Sky to provide content for Go!View, the new video-on-demand service for the Sony PSP. MoMedia will supply Go!View with 10 episodes per month of The Aiya! Gang, an Asian version of Jackass, Endemol-owned JoeCartoon and Kamikaze Videos, described as funniest home videos meets Dirty Sanchez. (Cynopsis 10/10)

Content from online video sites such as YouTube and Blip.tv now is available on TV screens via Verizon Communications' FiOS service. The telecom said it would soon add video-download service Starz Play. Light Reading (10/9)

Artist: Shelby Lynne
Album: Bridget Jone's Diary

Tracklist :

• Killin' Kind
• Dreamsome

world

Above is a quote from a film called ‘The Notebook’. The most romantic and heart-wrenching film I have ever seen. As I sit here, nursing a broken heart (watching romantic films is the worst medicine) I wonder.......is there a man out there that really thinks like Noah? Does a man of this generation with the distractions of computers that do unbelievable things and cars that satisfy every need, still find interest in another human being? Love letters have been replaced with drunken texts, and that’s if you’re lucky. In my whole twenty years of experience I have come across two types of men. Mr Marriage of whom wants’ to settle down within a year (if that) of meeting you and Mr Cake, The guy that wants his cake- and wants to eat it all up too, he wants to date you whilst keeping you at arm’s length so that if something better comes along, his not all tide up. Does Mr Darcy really exist? To be honest I don’t think I’d want a Mr Darcy. I think my ex boyfriend was a Mr Darcy, too proud, too selfish, too handsome and too egotistical. We have had the perfect man painted out for us in films such as The Notebook, Pride and Prejudice or Bridget Jones Diary. But when we get these men. Are they really what we wanted?

I have just been informed that two of my childhood friends have gotten engaged. They are both my age and have been with their fiancés for just under two years. I don’t understand. We are so young and surely don’t know ourselves well enough to even start thinking about committing ourselves to one person for the rest of our lives. And what happens if we meet the perfect person at the age of twenty and are stuck in the horrible situation of having to choose between him and a career?

‘If you love each other you’ll stay together’. This said by my mother.

‘I’m double your age and still single; I think I had the perfect relationship when I was younger so am now just having really bad ones’. This said by a friend I met on my placement so far.

Do we really only get to have one great love? Or are these questions laughable coming from somebody my age? I enjoy being on my own, and I enjoy being twenty, but I look around and nobody takes my breath away like john does. But what can I do?

So I left him behind for my year out. And I am hoping that the decision I have made won’t haunt me forever. I’m just disappointed that fairy tales don’t really happen. I wish my mum had warned me, if she had, maybe I wouldn’t be so heart-broken now.

Artist: Shelby Lynne
Album: Bridget Jone's Diary

Tracklist :

• Killin' Kind
• Dreamsome

who else would i like ?

I love country music and im looking for some more artists to add to my play list , Allison Moorer ,jamie Oneal ,faith Hill and Shelby Lynne are my favorite at the minute Who else would i like ????

It's abit awhile this movie but i just wanted to listen to the soundtrack from one of this good movie. as usual, i'm always way backward wit movies. hah...

1. "Killin' Kind" by Shelby Lynne
2. "Kiss That Girl" by Sheryl Crow
3. "Love" by Rosey
4. "Have You Met Miss Jones?" by Robbie Williams
5. "All by Myself" by Jamie O'Neal
6. "Just Perfect" by Tracy Bonham
7. "Dreamsome" by Shelby Lynne
8. "Not Of This Earth" by Robbie Williams
9. "Out of Reach" by Gabrielle
10. "Someone Like You" by Van Morrison
11. "It's Raining Men" by Geri Halliwell
12. "Stop, Look, Listen (To Your Heart)" by Diana Ross and Marvin Gaye
13. "I'm Every Woman" by Chaka Khan
14. "Pretender Got My Heart" by Alisha's Attic
15. "It's Only A Diary" by Patrick Doyle

cheers & GB...

Artist: Jamie O'Neal
Album: Bridget Jone's Diary

Tracklist :

• All By Myself

     So Luke has come to the conclusion that it would be absolutely impossible for him to enter some sort of emotional relationship. Period. I think I mentioned that guy that I met up with in San Francisco, right? Well, anyway, if I didn't, I met up with a guy in San Francisco and we went out on a little date. Park, Japanese Tea Gardens, sex, dinner, and a movie. It was fun and Guy was nice and I was looking forward to meet him again. The day after the date he started to IM me and it was pretty weird because it almost sounded like he was trying to pick a fight, which is one of the things I don't do (fights, I mean). So, after getting the strong vibes that he was mad, I asked what was wrong to which he replied, "I don't think this is going to work out." He went on about how he really liked me and that he didn't "come to this conclusion lightly," and how he hoped for the best for me. On IM I was a clear, well balanced, rational person; in life I was a bit emotionally distressed. The reason the... whatever-it-was wasn't going to work out was because I had a healing cold sore on my upper lip and he didn't want to chance getting one even while I didn't have symptoms (he sounded a bit like one of those herpes commercials). I mean, I can't get bitchy to him about it since I admit I didn't really come out and tell him, "By the way, I was sick last week and I got cold sores from it.. just an FYI," it just sucks. I didn't quite believe him when he said he put a lot of thought into the decision, but I couldn't do anything about it so I left it alone. So, my point is, if I get into an emotional funk for a few days after a non-emotional, one time date, imagine how I would get at the end of a relationship that I invested time and emotion in. I would probably be like Bridget Jones alone in my apartment listening to Eric Carmen sing "All By Myself", eating a wedge of cheese with a bottle of wine. I guess I just wouldn't be able to do that to myself.

     My douchy best friend isn't coming to visit like he said he would! He's going for summer school in D.C. and he's leaving almost as soon as he gets out of school. I was looking forward to hanging out with him because we had so much fun the last time we hung out and I just wanted someone to bitch to about my fucking roommates. I do miss them [my friends] and this year has been really hard without them. A ton of stuff that I've had to work out on my own and other things that I wanted to laugh about. I know this sounds totally fucked up, but I consider them to be more of my family than what my actual biological family is.

     I've been bitching for a while now. I don't like to do that too often, but it's nice to do sometimes. It's therapeutic. Today has been a lazy day. Seriously, I've been sitting here with a pint of Pistachio Haagen-Dazs (a-maz-ing) reading a blog called 2nd Person. It chronicles the life of a gay man living in Manhattan and he's.. charming is the word I'd use. It's written in the second person (you), hence the name "2nd Person". The only thing that really bugs me about the blog is his tendency to fall back on stereotypes of gay men, besides that, I wish I were him. His man-candy, a man identified as Blond[e] Beard, sounds amazing, even if emotionally unavailable (which doesn't sound like that much of a draw back but that's probably because I'm usually the one who moves on).

     omgah!! I need to get laid. Badly. I think this whole week has just turned me into a sex fiend. It's gotten to the point where I am actually turned on by men that I wouldn't normally give a second glance. It doesn't help that I am going to see Uber-Hot-Former-Philosophy-Professor today at a Philosophy Club meeting that I am going to be attending for work. Then there's the short story reading in Berkeley next week where I'm sure to meet a hot, gay, artist type who wants to take me to his loft or studio apartment and make me his muse while he sits there and tells me over and over again that I am exactly what he has been looking for. I leave the next day (I would leave a note, I'm not completely cruel).

     Luke likes Pistachio Haagen Dazs. Luke dislikes his cold sores and his roommate[s] (still).

Amount of money that will be under my management: $250,000

Number of proud friends and family members: still counting

After a long and grueling wait for an interview with the biggest student-led business competition/conference chairperson for the coming year, was offered the position of "Financial Director". AKA person who tells people how much they can spend. Referring back to entry of March 4th, 2008, am apalled that such position was so ogled at by self. Reimbursements are not fit for a lady who has more brain than to be in charge of running around campus getting signatures.

Am largely a ball of happiness right now and looking for outlets to place the excess energy. However, am in dilemma because of said excess energy. Study or not to study for exams. That is the question.

Okay, yeah, study.

O primeiro aspecto positivo que devo salientar é o teor da relação entre William e a sua filha, Maya, interpretada por Abigail Breslin (e que, como sabemos, foi nomeada para um Óscar devido à sua performance no filme "Little Miss Sunshine"), que revela uma química engraçada entre os dois e nos proporciona diálogos muitas vezes hilariantes (tomem o exemplo da cena em que ela lhe pergunta o que é uma ménage à trois). Sim senhor, parabéns aos dois. Depois, talvez aquele que será o melhor detalhe é a forma como a narrativa nos é apresentada - que nos leva a, ao mesmo tempo que Maya, tentar adivinhar quem será, das três, a sua mãe - e que, devido à sua imprevisibilidade, nos prende desde o começo e nos continua a cativar até ao fim. Esta foi uma escolha feliz e eficaz por parte de Adam Brooks, realizador e autor do argumento, que aqui atingiu também melhores resultados que na má sequela de "Bridget Jone's Diary".

Quanto às actrizes que vivem os três interesses românticos da personagem principal ao logo da história, estão todas de parabéns. Rachel Weisz, sempre fenomenal, volta aqui a dar uma excelente interpretação vestindo a pele de Summer, uma escritora que, no início, se encontra numa relação com um sexagenário; Isla Fisher, que entrou no engraçado "Wedding Crashers", vive aqui April, a personagem com quem acabamos por criar mais empatia e com quem William forma uma amizade desde a sua chegada à cidade; Elizabeth Banks, por fim, é Emily, a tal namorada que fica à espera dele no Winsconsin. O argumento trata sempre de as trazer de alguma forma à história, mesmo quando pensávamos que não as veríamos mais e se, a dada altura pensarem, como eu, já ter descoberto tudo, o mais provável é que, nos minutos seguintes, o filme vos prove que estão enganados.

Já em relação a Ryan Reynolds, volta aqui a estar muito bem vestindo a pele de um homem simples com, apesar do que possa parecer, muito azar no campo amoroso da sua vida e por quem acabamos por torcer. Por fim, Adam Brooks não faz um trabalho excepcional na realização: em vez disso, aposta por conduzir a narrativa de forma discreta, por assim dizer, o que, apesar de não ser sinal de uma obra-prima, também não demonstra falta de qualidade. A sua posta - ganha - vai, claramente, para o argumento, ao qual já teci os devidos elogios e do qual apenas tenho uma coisa negativa a apontar - o final. Não que seja mau, ou sem graça, porque não é; a última cena é que é um pouco previsível.

O filme pode até nem inovar em muitos aspectos, nem tampouco parece ser o seu objectivo; é, sim, uma história reconfortante que, seguindo uma fórmula diferente da habitual, nos prende e nos leva a querer saber como tudo aquilo vai acabar. Destaca-se, também, por, contrariamente à maioria dos filmes deste género, centrar a sua acção num homem e não numa mulher, o que é sempre bom para o público masculino, que, geralmente, não é grande fã destes filmes. Engraçado e enternecedor, "Definitely, Maybe" é um dos bons filmes deste primeiro trimestre de 2008 e só é pena ter tido uma tradução para Português tão má como "Para Sempre. Talvez...". Aconselho, sem dúvida!

Nota: 8.5/10

Citações Memoráveis:

Will Hayes: I had two serious girlfriends... and then some other smattering of other women.
Maya Hayes: What's the boy word for 'slut'?
Will Hayes: They still haven't come up with one yet.

-----------------
Maya Hayes: Dad, I can't believe you drank... and smoked... and was such a slut... But I still love you.

-----------------
Maya Hayes: What's a threesome?
Will Hayes: It's a game, that adults play sometimes... When they're bored.
Maya Hayes: ...Whatever.

Number of relationships salvaged: 1, v.g. indeed.

Love life: on the up and up. With hopes of riding the hot balloon for more moments to come.

Was sifting through fancy student council positions* for the Commerce Undergraduate Society for the coming school year. Decided one should be proactive in updating one's resume and cover letter to apply for such important positions. Have eye on: Financial Services Director. Should praise self for goal-making, noted.

*Have always aspired to be superb diligent girl typing authoritative e-mails to various important people. Especially the part where one such girl would sign e-mails off with titles of said position.

http://cgi.ebay.com/Meet-Colin-Firth-2-VIP-Mamma-Mia-Tickets-London-7-1_W0QQitemZ250218115380QQihZ015QQcategoryZ16071QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

It's for a good cause, of course, but I just don't have an extra $7000 sitting around.  However, if I did...this is what I would do with it!

Meet Colin Firth + 2 VIP Mamma Mia! Tickets London 7/1

Hey everyone:)

Here I am again. Blogging away. I am so glad I got into blogging. I just love it to death. What a weird mood I'm in today. Anyways, my subject today is going to be Jane Austen's "Pride and Prejudice." I absolutely love that book. It is one of my favorites (although my favorite of favorites goes to Ayn Rand's "Fountainhead"). Anyways, I just read it again for about the fourth time. Although it has been a very long time since I have read it. I enjoyed as much as I always have. Most of the time I wonder why, because I know a lot of people would find the work boring considering it is about a bunch of people from the 18th century who are busy being intertwined in each other's life. Then I realized that is exactly why I love it....I love hearing about other times and places. Plus, I love the psychology of the human mind. It is absolutely fascinating. It amazes me sometimes that they are much the same in the 18th century England as we are in 21st century United States. I mean, naturally the etiquette and the way things were are different. As people we haven't changed much. We still have pride, prejudice, jealousy, and happiness like they did back then. I think what I love most about this book is that Jane Austen wrote the lead character Elizabeth with such spirit for a girl in the 1700s. I just love it. It makes me think of me and how I would have been back then.

Now, there are two different versions of the movie. I would suggest the first one. It is one of those six hour movies where your boyfriend will be crying at the end....not because it is so good, but probably because you bribed him into this in exchange for (you know what) and he just wants the thing to end. All in all, you will enjoy it. The beautifully cast british group does so much justice to the work that even Jane Austen would be proud. If you have ever watched "Bridget Jone's Diary" then you will know that Mr. Darcy is played by the true love interest in this movie. Great actor!

As far as the new one goes.....I didn't like it as much as the old one. Everyone might hate me after this statement, but I really do not like Keira Knightly all that much. Don't get me wrong, she is good in movies where the director has to lead her around by her nose, or she is playing herself. I'm sure as a person she is really great too, but as an actress I am not all that pleased. I honestly do not think she deserved the Academy Award nomination for this movie, but she got it. The movie is fine. I just think it is really hard to not make an eight hour movie on a Jane Austen book. They are so complicated.

Anyways, I am glad to get all that out. Now on to "Sense and Sensibility....."

Di kedua negara tersebut, chick lit mendapatkan mencatat angka fantastis dalam penjualan. Bridget Jones's Diary bahkan terjual sebanyak 10 juta kopi dalam kurun waktu lima tahun sejak pertama kali diterbitkan. Sejak kemunculannya, buku karya penulis terkenal seperti John Grisham dan Tom Clancy menurun angka penjualannya. Novel romantis seperti Harlequin juga mengalami penurunan angka penjualan yang drastis (Marsh, 2002). Sampai-sampai Harlequin merasa perlu untuk meluncurkan Red Dress Ink, yaitu divisi khusus yang menerbitkan buku serupa chick lit.

Melihat sambutan yang begitu hangat terhadap chick lit, para penerbit di berbagai belahan dunia pun tertarik untuk membeli hak cipta chick lit dan menterjemahkannya. Termasuk Indonesia, yang menerbitkan chick lit terjemahan sejak bulan Maret 2003. Hak ciptanya dipegang oleh Penerbit Gramedia Pustaka Utama yang saat itu langsung meluncurkan empat buah chick lit. Keempat chick lit tersebut telah dicetak ulang dan terjual sebanyak belasan ribu eksemplar hanya dalam waktu satu tahun.

Chick lit sepertinya telah menjadi fenomena dunia. Ia dianggap membawa warna baru dalam khasanah bacaan hingga dianggap perlu memberi nama genre baru, yakni chick lit untuk membedakannya dari bacaan lain. Mulai dari kemasannya, chick lit memang sudah tampil berbeda. Sampulnya berwarna pastel, ceria, dan diberi ilustrasi ala kemasan boneka Barbie. Gambar-gambar berupa sepatu wanita dengan hak tinggi, gelas martini, lipstik, tas belanja, atau gambar lain yang identik dengan perempuan, biasanya melengkapi ilustrasi di sampul chick lit. Tidak ketinggalan pula label bertuliskan chick lit dan frase "being single and happy" (menjadi lajang bahagia), disertai gambar perempuan dengan rok mini yang sedang duduk menyilangkan kaki. Label ini ditempelkan di setiap chick lit, untuk menjadi penanda bahwa buku tersebut adalah chick lit.

Chick lit diceritakan dengan bahasa yang ringan. Judulnya pun terdengar ringan. Sebut saja Buku Harian Bridget Jones (Bridget Jones' Diary), Bos Paling Kejam Sedunia (The Devils Wears Prada)[2], atau Besar itu Indah (Does My Bum Look Big in This). Judul-judul ini tentu jauh berbeda dengan fiksi romantis ala Mira W atau Marga T, seperti Seribu Tahun Ku Menanti, Di Bahumu Kubagi Lukaku, ataupun Badai Pasti Berlalu.

Pembaca juga tidak perlu banyak berpikir untuk memahami isi cerita karena dalam chick lit tidak pernah dibahas permasalahan filsafat, budaya, agama, atau topik serius lainnya. Chick lit hanya berbicara seputar perempuan, belanja, kosmetika, pakaian, sepatu hak tinggi, alkohol, seks, karir, dan kebutuhan perempuan akan laki-laki. Itulah sebabnya istilah chick dikonotasikan dengan pengertian ringan, yang menunjuk kepada makna kurang berbobot.

Oleh karena itu terlepas dari angka penjualan yang fantastis, chick lit pun banyak menuai kritik dalam jumlah yang fantastis pula. Sebagai literatur, chick lit diragukan kualitasnya. Menurut Maureen Lynch Cooke, banyak ahli sastra yang tidak mengakui chick lit sebagai sebuah karya sastra. Chick lit dianggap bukan bacaan bermutu, bahkan mendapat julukan sebagai bacaan pantai, karena saking ringannya, dapat dibaca sambil berjemur di tepi pantai, dan setelah itu dilupakan.

Selain dari kelompok orang yang menggeluti sastra, kehadiran chick lit juga menarik perhatian feminis. Banyak feminis yang mengkritik bahwa chick lit bukan karya baru, melainkan hanya sebuah penulisan ulang fiksi romantis yang melanggengkan stereotipe perempuan hasil konstruksi budaya patriarki. Bahkan istilah chick lit itu sendiri pun dianggap sudah merendahkan perempuan, karena chick itu juga berarti ayam.

Namun sebagian feminis menganggap chick lit merupakan karya yang menampilkan sosok perempuan yang sesuai dengan cita-cita feminis. Hal ini karena chick lit menggambarkan kehidupan perempuan lajang dengan akhir cerita yang bukan pernikahan. Bahkan chick lit dianggap sebagai representasi perempuan masa sekarang, yang disebut sebagai generasi posmodern.

Cris Mazza, Michele M. Glasburgh, Jennifer Scanlon, adalah beberapa orang yang  menyetujui chick lit sebagai literatur posfeminis. Mereka mencoba memaparkan posfeminisme (postfeminism) dalam chick lit dengan alasan masing-masing. Namun setelah berusaha mencerna pendapat-pendapat Mazza, Scanlon, Glasburgh, saya justru mempertanyakan apakah benar chick lit merupakan literatur posfeminis. Dalam pandangan saya, mereka hanya mengambil istilah-istilah dalam posfeminisme untuk kemudian mengklaim chick lit sebagai posfeminisme tanpa memahami ide dasar dari istilah-istilah tersebut.

Saya mencoba mengangkat ide-ide dari Rosalind Gill, Elena Herdieckerhoff, Susan Bordo, Susan Faludi, Bonnie J. Dow, dan Hélène Cixous, untuk menunjukkan bahwa sesungguhnya chick lit bukanlah literatur posfeminis. Chick lit hanya merupakan dampak dari backlash feminism yang seringkali disalahartikan sebagai posfeminisme.

(Bagi teman-teman yang tertarik untuk mengetahui lebih jauh artikel ini, dapat menghubungi saya di blog ini atau email ke esterlianawati@yahoo.com)  

That I'm so lucky to be loving you

So lucky to be the one you run to see

In the evening when the day is through

I only know what I know

The passing years will show

You've kept my love so young, so new

And time after time

You'll hear me say

That I'm so lucky to be loving you

Hari Valentine (Valentine's day) awalnya ditetapkan untuk menghormati Santo Valentine yang mati martir pada tanggal 14 Februari. Perayaan ini tidak dikaitkan dengan unsur cinta sampai pada tahun 1382, seorang penyair dari Inggris, Geoffrey Chaucer, membuat puisi yang menyatakan tanggal 14 Februari adalah hari ketika burung-burung memilih pasangan.

Sejak itu, Valentine identik dengan cinta dan dirayakan dengan pemberian hadiah. Bunga dan cokelat dijadikan sebagai simbol cinta, membuat keduanya laris manis menjelang Valentine. Dan setelah Esther Rowland memproduksi kartu Valentine untuk pertama kalinya pada tahun 1847, milyaran kartu Valentine terjual setiap tahunnya, menempati posisi kedua terbesar setelah kartu Natal.

Perayaan hari Valentine menunjukkan satu hal : cinta masih menjadi topik penting, jika bukan yang terpenting, bagi banyak orang. Sejumlah pakar pun telah berusaha mendefinisikan cinta. Namun apapun definisinya, tampaknya lebih penting untuk memperhatikan bagaimana menjaga cinta. Karena berdasarkan survei pasar, kartu dan hadiah Valentine dikirimkan terbanyak oleh pasangan yang belum ataupun yang baru menikah.

Kebanyakan orang mengatakan merasa tidak pantas lagi merayakan hal-hal seperti Valentine karena masalah usia yang sudah menua. Namun ternyata semakin lama pasangan itu bersama, semakin rendah frekuensi mereka merayakan Valentine, terlepas dari berapapun usia mereka. Jadi permasalahannya tidak terletak pada usia masing-masing, melainkan pada usia hubungan itu sendiri. Tampaknya cinta tidak lagi dirasa menggebu setelah hubungan berjalan sekian lama. Lantas menjadi pertanyaan tidak dapatkah kita menjaga api cinta tidak memudar?

Dua bait di atas merupakan penggalan dari sebuah lagu lawas, Time After Time, yang pernah dilantunkan Frank Sinatra. Lagu ini dinyanyikan kembali oleh Claire Danes yang berperan sebagai Ann Grant dalam film Evening yang dirilis pertengahan 2007 lalu. Film ini menceritakan cinta Ann Grant yang tak pernah mati untuk kekasihnya, meskipun masing-masing telah menikah dengan orang lain.

Menarik untuk disimak bahwa cinta tampaknya dapat abadi justru ketika tidak berlanjut dalam suatu hubungan. Selain film Evening, masih banyak film lain yang menceritakan kisah sejenis. Yang terbaru adalah film Love in the Time of Cholera, yang diadaptasi dari novel karya Gabriel García Márquez. Film ini bercerita tentang Florentino Ariza yang mencintai Fermina Daza, yang dipaksa menikah dengan pria lain. Keduanya tetap saling mencintai sampai lebih dari setengah abad kemudian setelah suami Fermina meninggal dunia, Florentino datang kembali menemui Fermina.

Sayangnya ketika cinta dilanjutkan dalam sebuah hubungan, kompleksitas hubungan itu sendiri akan menyulitkan kita untuk tetap menjaga agar cinta tidak memudar. Hal inilah yang mendorong produser film Bridget Jones' Diary,' untuk membuat sekuel film ini guna menggambarkan realita bahwa memulai cinta tidak sesulit menjalani hubungan itu setelahnya. Jadi seandainya kisah Cinderella dilanjutkan, bukan tidak mungkin kita akan menemukan konflik-konflik dalam relasinya dengan pangeran.

Saat mulai menjalin hubungan, kita umumnya mengalami optimistic bias, yakni terlalu optimis dalam memprediksikan kelanggengan cinta. Kita mengenakan rose-coloured glasses sehingga semua tampak indah. Kita yakin dapat mencapai semboyan Cinderella : bahagia selamanya (happily ever after).

Namun seiring waktu, kita mulai melihat kekurangan pasangan. Bahkan yang awalnya sebuah kelebihan kini kita persepsikan sebagai berlebihan, sehingga kelebihan itu pun kini menjelma menjadi suatu kekurangan di mata kita. Kekurangan-kekurangan yang awalnya dapat ditoleransi kini terasa melampaui kekuatan kita untuk menerimanya.  "Kau begitu sempurna, dimataku kau begitu indah" yang didendangkan Andra and The Backbone tidak lagi berlaku dalam kondisi begini.

Masing-masing dari kita menuntut pasangan untuk menjadi seperti yang kita inginkan. Jika tidak sesuai, kita menjadi marah karena menganggapnya tidak memahami kebutuhan kita. Dalam kondisi ini, yang muncul adalah sikap saling menyalahkan. Kita mengklaim diri kita yang benar dan pasangan yang salah, namun tidak menyadari masing-masing menyumbang terhadap pertengkaran itu. Kata-kata yang terucap adalah yang meninggikan ego masing-masing, sehingga malah semakin saling menyakiti.

Tidak jarang dalam pertengkaran, akan terungkap kekecewaan yang bertumpuk dan mengungkit pengorbanan masing-masing. Alih-alih berempati, kita terkejut ternyata pasangan menyimpan kekesalannya sedemikian rupa dan kemudian kita pun menuduhnya tidak tulus selama ini. Bila sudah begini, masalah awal pemicu pertengkaran tidak tertangani, dan pertengkaran malah memicu munculnya masalah baru. Lama kelamaan, pertengkaran-pertengkaran semacam ini akan mengikis cinta dan memupuk emosi negatif kepada pasangan.

Jika kita mau mengintrospeksi diri, kita cenderung mencintai dengan cara yang kita anggap baik, bukan menyesuaikannya dengan kebutuhan pasangan. Akhirnya kita menganggap telah melakukan banyak hal untuk pasangan. Kita bingung dan merasa upaya kita tidak dihargai ketika pasangan mengeluh tidak pernah merasa cukup dicintai. Hal ini sebenarnya dapat dihindari jika kita mencintai secara produktif dan altruistik, sebagaimana dikemukakan Erich Fromm, seorang filsuf dan psikolog asal Jerman, dalam bukunya The Art of Loving.

Cinta menurut Fromm mengandung unsur kepedulian (care), tanggung jawab (responsibility), respek (respect), dan pengenalan (knowledge). Respek bukanlah rasa takut atau segan, melainkan menghargai keunikan pasangan dan meyakini ia dapat bertumbuh dengan keunikannya. Oleh karena itu dibutuhkan pengenalan lebih dalam terhadap pasangan, termasuk mengenali kebutuhan-kebutuhannya. Ketika respek dan pengenalan ini disertai dengan tanggung jawab untuk peduli terhadap pasangan, maka cinta kita dapat membuat pasangan bertumbuh menjadi pribadi yang lebih baik.

Oleh karena itulah dalam pandangan Fromm, cinta tidak pasif melainkan aktif bertindak. Sebuah contoh sederhana adalah kita tidak dapat mengatakan bahwa kita mencintai bunga jika kita tidak menyiramnya. Karena cinta yang peduli dan bertanggung jawab adalah cinta yang memberi, untuk memperkaya pasangan dan diri kita sendiri, memperkaya relasi itu sendiri. Itulah sebabnya konsep cinta yang ditawarkan Fromm disebut sebagai cinta yang produktif dan altruistik.

Dengan tujuan memperkaya relasi, maka memberi bukan berarti menuruti semua keinginan pasangan. Namun perlu diperhatikan jika kita respek dan peduli terhadap pasangan, kita tidak menjadikan persepsi kita sebagai patokan dalam menilai kebutuhan pasangan perlu dipenuhi atau tidak.  Kita perlu menimbang apakah dengan memberikan itu hubungan kita dapat menjadi lebih baik dan apakah permintaannya sedemikian sulit untuk dipenuhi atau mengorbankan banyak pihak?

Sebagai contoh, pasangan meminta kita untuk meneleponnya saat jam makan siang sebagai bentuk perhatian. Sebelum menganggapnya sebagai romantisme yang tidak perlu, ada baiknya dipikirkan apakah meluangkan waktu 5 menit dari 24 jam yang ada untuk meneleponnya sedemikian sulitnya sehingga dapat menjungkirbalikkan dunia kita? Jika jawabannya tidak, dan jika melakukannya justru dapat melekatkan hubungan, ketimbang berpikir negatif bahwa hal itu suatu kemanjaan, lebih baik kita lakukan dengan sukacita.

Konsep cinta yang ditawarkan Fromm tentu tidak akan berhasil jika hanya salah satu pasangan yang menjalankannya. It takes two for tango, demikian pula dalam mencintai. Jika hanya sepihak yang melakukan, hubungan menjadi tidak seimbang. Bukan tidak mungkin satu saat ia merasa lelah , dan apa yang telah dilakukannya untuk memberi kini dirasakannya sebagai pengorbanan. Padahal memberi menurut Fromm bukanlah mengorbankan sesuatu. Tidak ada yang diambil dari diri kita, karena tujuannya justru memperkaya diri kita dan pasangan. 

Oleh karena itulah, kedua pihak harus saling memberi dengan respek, empati, peduli, dan penuh tanggung jawab sehingga tercipta sebuah hubungan yang dewasa. Dalam hubungan semacam ini, kita tidak akan meributkan hal-hal sepele yang membuang energi. Bukan berarti hubungan seperti ini akan bebas konflik. Pertengkaran akan selalu ada dalam setiap relasi. Namun pertengkaran tidak selalu buruk jika kita mengembalikan pada tujuan kita mencintai. Karena pertengkaran dapat mengungkap kebutuhan pasangan yang mungkin belum diutarakan. Pertengkaran dapat menjadi cermin apakah selama ini kita mencintai dengan cara kita, bukan dengan cara yang diinginkan pasangan.

Mencintai adalah sebuah proses, bukan sekedar perayaan dalam satu hari bernama hari Valentine. Kekuatan cinta justru teruji dalam keseharian relasi kita dengan pasangan. Mungkin kita tidak lagi mengalami getar yang sama seperti awal hubungan. Namun dengan senantiasa memberi, penuh respek, peduli, dan terus belajar mengenal pasangan, bukan tidak mungkin kita dapat merasakan sensasi yang lain. Sebuah getar tak terlukiskan saat menemukan dari waktu ke waktu, betapa beruntung kita dapat mencintainya selama ini. Happy Valentine's Day.

-- Pour toi, mon Neverland. Je t'aime toujours--

(Tulisan ini dapat disimak pula di www.suarapembaruan.com (edited version, of course :) . Thx to Mas Argo dari Suara Pembaruan yang udah bikinin judul utk tulisan ini. Sy sempat bingung judulnya apa, tapi editor emang kreatif ya :P )

The essay includes examples of some of the classics.

Here are a few that I would've added:

• "Broadcast News." Meant as a behind-the-scenes look at network news, the love triangle of Holly Hunter, William Hurt and Albert Brooks is the star.
• "Bridget Jones' Diary." The happy ending, the goofiness of the main character and the British accents-- which somehow make almost everything better-- combine for a movie I've gladly watched at least 50 times. Maybe Hugh Grant and Colin Firth have something to do with it?
• "Love Actually." The sweet, overlapping plots, the music and...Hugh Grant and Colin Firth? The Christmas theme definitely helps.

Sorry, I rambled a little bit. I wrote three chapters of my book, Baby, Baby, (the first three)  yesterday, and I think they're good for first draft. I put them up on writers cafe, and you can see them through the link.

Parents.... my friends Fuzz's mum thinks him and Sara are going out, and so does my mom. My friend MM's father thinks him and Sara are going out. Poor Sara with all this dating confusion. Speaking of dating, I am single, single, single for Valentines Day, and oh so proud.  Okay, not proud, but I can deal with it. Because February is Weird Month!!! WOOT!! So totally can't wait!

Bridget Jones is in her early thirties, unmarried, a drinker, and a smoker. On New Year's Eve, she vows to clean up her life and make something of it, including giving up drinking and smoking and finding herself a good man to settle down with. And she likes her boss Daniel (Hugh Grant, who can play both nebbish and cad at the same time), but she doesn't feel he likes her all that much. But before you can say "fat knickers", Bridget has herself not one, but two beaus - and they both seem both good and bad at the same time, of course.

This isn't a movie about juggling boyfriends, though, it's about one ordinary woman's attempt to improve herself, despite her own foibles and lack of inhibitions. Bridget is sprightly and intelligent, although not supersmart and certainly not always lucky in love. She's attractive but sometimes uses her appearance to enhance her career.

The movie's told in first person, with Bridget providing narration. Some of her observations of her boss, her coworkers, and her family are both endearing and accurate. Bridget is honest and forthright, but above all she's one of us, and that's the whole point of the movie. She behaves pretty much as any of us would, and it's her realism that makes this a treat.

Bridget Jones' Diary: 7