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Speaking of which, there is an art to knowing when to shut the fuck up. I don't usually try to tell people what to do, well, aside from my SEO Standards, and I realize that the person who should probably be reading this the most will never see it. But for the three or four of you who do, you probably don't need a lecture from a jackass like me. But whatever. The thing is, this thing called the interweb is wonderful for expressing one's self, even if that expression is one of dislike and contempt for another. Yes, one should stick up for one's self and one's friends. However, when that "expression" turns into a way to alienate someone you care about from their colleagues and making people question associating with that person due to their association with you, you need to step back from the keyboard and monitor and really think long and hard about what you're doing. At that point, it's not about "being you" or whatever new-age hippie bullshit you tell yourself. It goes beyond you. It goes to the heart of destroying the reputation of those who you hold dear and associate yourself with. And at that point, that is point at which you need to learn to shut the fuck up. Besides, you're just gonna' get hung by your own words.

Oh, and constantly threatening to sue others for doing the same shit you do to others? Just remember who the first victim of the guillotine was. Do unto others as you'd want un done to yourself and all that.

So, with that, on with the Semper Fi edition of 7 Things I Learned On The Interweb This Week!

1. Subway's new $5 Footlong plus 7" knife promotion isn't being received well. I'm guessing Quizzno's Zesty Meatball and Razor Blade sub wont' be successful either.

2. Rebecca Kelley has very nice teeth. 4 out 5 RKFB's agree! Yet another reason for my fanboy allegiance and loyalty. And yes, I recognize how fucking creepy this is.

3. Being Andy Dick sucks. And not just because that means you're a drug-addled asshole and groper of teenage girls. No. It sucks because no matter what happens, when you wake up you're still Andy Dick and you peaked by standing on the shoulders of others. That's the best Andy Dick story I read since Lovitz put the beat down on Dick's sorry ass.

4. Don't fuck with Streko's friends.

5. Comedy is hard to write, and nearly impossible for some. This isn't a dig just 'cuz someone was too much of a chicken shit to publish my comments or decided to be a dick to Ms. Rebecca Kelley. Okay, maybe it is. I mean, he goes after her with some cheap, throw-away comment that's not even fucking original? WTF? But still. If this is an example of a comedy blog, then Dane Cook is the funniest motherfucker alive. Seriously. I'm pretty sure there's another reason I'm feeling a little woozie - and it ain't because of Badoozie. Maybe it's because of the stench of failure or suckassdom? Perhaps too much bullshit? Or the overwhelming feeling of pity that though this guy is trying to pick a fight with the industry, we all realize he has a hard time fighting for air 'cuz his head is so far up his ass? That's probably why you're feeling woozie, jackass. Pull your head out and realize that your mom is just saying those nice things 'cuz that's what mothers do. And you really ought to consider having sex with a robot if you get the chance. With PMS jokes and shit as your standard fare, that's the only way you're gonna' get laid.

6. No matter how old I get or what level of success I achieve (or, rather, don't achieve), poop stories will always crack me up. Thanks, El Tigre.

7. Either white girls can't dance, or the Icky Shuffle and the Twist are making a comeback.

So, there it is. Have a good weekend and junk.

Ya les habia comentado antes de Plurk, un servicio que ocupa la dinamica de Twitter, para que postees en una sola linea que estas haciendo. A esto se le decidio llamar microblogging.

Muchos diran, ay que flojera que todos sepan que hago .. pero, quiza por eso Plurk nacio con un concepto mucho mas completo al de Twitter, ya que en lugar de una aburrida lista con tus entradas, tienes una linea de Tiempo, donde se va registrando hora a hora tus plurks o entradas.

Ademas permite que tus amig@s comenten tus entradas, formulando en ocasiones micro-chats..

A mi me encanta el servicio, lo ocupo cada que puedo.. y pues  se conoce bastante gente, bastantes cosas y se pasa un buen rato, que a final de cuentas para eso debe ser el internet, para un momento de ocio.

Bueno, despues de todo el comercial que me heche jajaja, aviso que Plurk esta en mantenimiento, despues de algunas fallas que tuvo y la actualizacion de su pagina principal. Esperemos que pronto tengamos de nuevo nuestro querido plurk :D

DENTON, Texas - Police said they will not file charges against a clerk whose parents and husband were charged with robbing the pizza restaurant where she worked, officials said. Police said the clerk didn't know they planned to rob the Pizza Patron Friday night.

While the robbery was in progress, the clerk discovered her father was the robber when another clerk struck him, knocking him out and knocking off his wig and sunglasses. He was later apprehended after witnesses followed the getaway pickup.

"Her husband told us she didn't know. He knew they were going to rob someplace but he thought it was going to be a convenience store," police Sgt. James Brett said in a story in Monday's online editions of the Denton Record-Chronicle.

Como sea, el caso es que ya he de tener mas tiempo estos dias para escribir aqui, en Snake's Nest y bueno, salir a turistear un rato jaja..

Ademas de que cada vez esta mas cerca el concierto de Anabantha n.n!!!

On Friday the Catholic League reported that Thomas E. Foley, a Virginia delegate to the Republican National Convention (RNC) in Minneapolis has asked that increased security be considered for the event in light of Myers’ threat to acquire and desecrate the Eucharist.

“I just felt security at the Republican National Convention ought to look at him and his followers,” Foley told CNA in a phone interview on Wednesday morning. He reported that he had not received an update about his request.

Voicing his concerns about Myers, Foley said: “What I think he has done, he’s loaded a cyberpistol and he’s cocked it and he’s left it on the table. He may have set something in motion that no one can stop. It was irresponsible, a hell of a thing to do.”

Won't someone please think of the children crackers! Damn, if we atheists knew it was this easy to stage a coup we never wanted to have, we would've threatened snack foods years ago. It was awfully devious of us to plant a college student in a campus mass where he was bound to be manhandled into walking out with a wafer. This is where we insert a devious laugh and much beard stroking.

Foley explained that he thought Myers should not be able to incite such acts with “impunity,” saying that he was especially disturbed by the comments posted on Myers’ blog. He said it was “eye-opening” to read the people who supported Myers’ action. Even at his age of 63, Foley said, he had never “personally encountered such bigotry.”

He's a 63 year old man from Virginia who's claiming this is the first time he's encountered extreme bigotry. That tells you all you need to know about Thomas Foley's world view.

Foley said he believes Myers was telling his readers to acquire a consecrated Host at Mass, which Foley thought would result in disruptions.

“What’s he telling them to do? Consecrated Hosts are not just lying around,” he said to CNA, noting that the only other possible way to secure a Host would be to accost a priest, nun, or layman taking the Sacrament to the sick. Even E-bay, Foley emphasized, has prevented the sale of consecrated Hosts.

Now we're nun muggers? Impressive. Foley seems to be forgetting that this whole mess started because a student walked out of mass with a consecrated Host he was handed. Obviously, it is quite possible to leave with one and mail it to a Biology professor. P.Z. Myers also has no real way of knowing that the wafers he's being sent were in fact consecrated. And it is my understanding that to Catholics and non-Catholics alike an unconsecrated wafer is a distant cousin of a Triscuit.

Foley said he thinks Myers’ actions have ended his career. “Who can listen to him lecture on science without thinking ‘Polly wants a cracker’?” he asked.

What is he even talking about? Holy hell (pun intended).

Related Stories:

Much Ado About a Wafer

1-800-Flowers Employee Fired Because Husband Threatened P.Z. Myers

Nothing is more pwnage then homemade donburi that taste exactly like those you eat at ichiban sushi, or all other Japanese cuisine restaurant. If only i had my camera, else i would show you teh pwnneh bowl of goodness. I realiase that i am repeating my old habits, that is spending long hours @ com or anywhere else except my work. This have to stoppu for good! to top up, wan jian shang gan qing hais.

Just when you thougt you've seen it all, here come this creep that make you second guess buying that new "USED" car.

Jordan Witham, is his name and scoring with his V-Dub is his claim.

He slowly caresses the car, covering "her" with his "wet" kisses until he finally mounts her from behind, entering her "tailpipe"! Herbie really goes "Bananas"!

He says he always uses a condom. Don't want to go impregnating inanimate objects or getting that STD known as "RUST"!

YOU THINK THIS IS A JOKE- JUST READ THE ARTICLE. I KID YOU NOT!

He is part of a group of people who are sexually aroused by cars called "Mechaphiles" or what I call "Perverts who molest cars."

Some attention seeking bum decides to have sex with his car and tell the world. He says he does not want a wife or kids. Thank Goodness. I'd hate for him to have to explain the "Birds and bees."

Don't try this at home or on the road!

-Via

This video appears to be from the French Open, although which year remains a mystery to me because, honestly, it's not exactly relevant. What appears to be the central thesis of this video is that Jelena Jankovic changed her underwear right there on the tennis court. -Via

Smile, it's only us watching. You know, the entire friggin' planet.

What do you think? Class or Crass?

This is what happens when you don't get enough oxygen to yo brain. Look at the hairy balls and the one drip of jizz. Girl, you so innovative! *blank stare* I hate everything she stands for. Seriously!

**Attention* If you have pics of random ridiculousness and you want me to post them, hit me up durtymo715@aol.com**

THE N-WORD'S Funeral:

On Monday, July 9, 2007, during its 98th Annual National Convention in Detroit, Michigan, the NAACP will conduct a mock funeral to bury the N-Word. Delegates and supporters of America’s largest, most respected, oldest, and most effective civil rights organization will convene at Cobo Hall for a march led by the casket containing the N-Word to Hart Plaza where there will be a funeral service for the most vicious of all racist insults – the N-Word!

Black people need to quit. I am serious.

If you buried the word, why ressurect it?

If you put the word in the casket, why unearth it?

We need to put our foot down and stop this "N*gger" crap. I simply mean stop using the friggin' word.

You cannot defend the word. It is an ignorant word, literally, and no person in this culture should use it.

No matter what their race.

What About Comedy?

Now, I think back to Richard Pryor and how he used the "N" word in his comedy. I would say he used it... well, it was just about every other word.

What do I say to that? Would I say, "It's alright for Richard Pryor [and other hardcore comedians] to use the "N" word and not everyone else?"

Richard Pryor [and other hardcore comedians]are paid for their risque points of view. They are paid to elaborate, in jest, about words, actions and lifestyles of stereotypes and the like. Gays, Sex, Hispanics, Asians, Blacks...as far as I see in most comedy, no topic is off limits. I am not a comedian, but this seems to be their running theme.

Richard Pryor [and other hardcore comedians] routines certainly are not for the general public. You have a choice and have probabaly paid for that choice, whether in cash or with your morality.

Watch what comedian Chris Rock has to say about the "N" word in comedy.

REV. JESSE JACKSON

If you didn't read my previous post about Jesse Jackson and public speaking, you can check it out here, but my thought run down the same river...He should have known better.

What happened to Jesse Jackson is what happens when you don't watch your back. You know that Fox News is repeatedly given the reputation of "unfair and unbalanced" by others in the media. They report news like the your famous nosey neighbor, who sees all, with a juicy tidbit about how the other neighbor brought home a new dog. There is footage and audio, too.

Rev. Jackson spoke out against using the "N" word in public. How "public" is doing Fox News?

As Rev Al Sharpton explained, you must be consistant. Don't tell others the stop using the "N" word, if you can't stop using the word.

Here's a new clip regarding Rev. Jesse Jackson and his "N" word slip-up.

THE VIEW: WHOOPI GOLDBERG & SHERRI SAY THE "N" WORD- I SAY "BOO ON YOU"

I can ususally say with certainty that Whoopi and Sherri and I share some of the same views. I usually do not side with Elisabeth Hasselbeck.

Well, the times, they are a changin'. In this clip of Elisabeth Hasselbeck verbal sparring with Whoopi and Sherri, I am in Elisabeth's corner.

You can't say the "N" word and tell other races that they can't say it unless you like talking out of both sides of your mouth...and your butt.

I don't care if your mama said it or your daddy used it. The "N" word has no place in your vocabulary and "God bless the child that's got his own...mind" and not copying what he/ she sees and does and paves their own way.

The "N" word is part of the "Ghetto Mentality" and you know what I think about the ghetto. That's just "ghetto".

Wouldn't you think that after the Ashlee Simpson gaffe on SNL, these teeny boppers would learn to actually sing their own stuff? I'm just wondering...

I found the greatest cooler at Food Lion this morning. It has a divider that you can remove, which means I can separate my bottled drinks from the food I pack. I love plastic. And technology.

Happy Friday! I'm off...to beach it!

to nearly nothing.

It's confusing, it's bewildering, lonely, and it hurts. It feels like a mistake, something to regret, but worst of all, it was inevitable. It was going to happen, it needs to happen, soon, later, soon, two years, three years, three and a half, it happened. It wasn't a clean cut, it was sloppy, messy, emotional, human, embarrassing, unavoidable, disbelief, it was pain. Everyday, for the next week, month, year, every Christmas, every birthday, more pain, more distance, more loneliness, space, regret, ache, want.

It goes from that happy place, to somewhere, not sure where, it's dark, there's one direction but you don't know what the sign says. Turns out, there's a million direction, none lead back. None take you back to the nice, loving, cute, sweet, caring, everyday. It makes me sick.

I wish, dream, pretend, make-believe that it can go back to us, together. And everyday, it goes from bad to worse to bad to worse to worst. That's the only everyday there is, the minutes, hours, days...all unfavorable.

But what do I expect? The before.

What is real?

The after. Going, and gone. Everything, to nothing.

Sloppy Seconds, by Wrath James White.

Er. Well. Yes.

A short book of short stories, very very limited edition thing. Apparently at the annual World Horror Convention they have an equally annual Gross-Out Contest, wherein which authors are liberated from the bounds of common decency, morality and taste in their efforts to outdo each other with the most vile, nauseating, splattery, repulsive, brutal and monstrous stories they can think of. All for some kind of nonspecific prize (probably a rotting fishhead tastefully mounted within the remains of an underaged streetwalker sprayed with fake gold) and the honour of being pronounced Most Gross Storyteller of 200X. Well. Yay. :D

Anyway, Wrath James White has been runner-up a few times -- never quite cracked it, but judging by the five stories in Sloppy Seconds he bloody should've done. Emphasis on the word 'bloody'. And other bodily fluids. In abundance.

Whilst the stories are almost unimaginably sick and brutal, they're also well written (a few typos notwithstanding) and, despite the brevity of the medium, very effective if you can get past the subject matter (or have no problems with the subject matter, like me ;) ). It's a weird place, this under-under-underground basement genre of extreme horror, but White is very much at home here and damnit if he hasn't dragged me inside and made me feel at home...

I love this sort of thing. It makes the joys of American Psycho look cuddly. It's parked next to the equally astonishingly repulsive Excitable Boys in the shelf: there were a few Gross-Out winners in that too if I recall correctly...

For the rest of you, probably be glad it's a limited edition and you'll never get hold of it.

A 29-year-old man accused of stealing a bicycle in Boston's North End tried to complete his own version of a triathlon to get away from police.

Police said Jason Duncan of Somerville rode the bike onto the North Washington Street Bridge, jumped off the bridge into Boston Harbor and swam to shore when they tried to arrest him Tuesday night.

He then ran down a harbor walkway before being caught.

Oh, wow. When delinquents are more physically ambitious than I am, I really need to reevaluate my exercise regimen. Though if it were me, I'd have probably tried to find some object to go all shot put on the cops before I finally surrendered.

Now for something completely different -

You can observe a lot just by watching.
-- Yogi Berra

[vodpod id=Groupvideo.1401893&w=425&h=350&fv=%26rel%3D0%26border%3D0%26]

Ok, now I'm just getting downright ridiculous, but I'm two Mountain Dews in (should have never had the first one even) and it's Friday, so fuck it. I'm not sure who this chick is, but I know she was on the UK Big Brother or something. Anyway, she's somebody and a living exemplar of the scourge that is fake Js. I bet she's classy.

Damn, couldn't her partner in spit have at least been attractive? The crazy thing about the hizzoe on the left is that I can't tell if she's had too much fish and chips or not enough.

Why am I guessing this is not the first time she's had multiple cats attached to he back piece? Wait, why am I posting this? I don't do non-Soccer Euro news. Out.

- Lake

Ernie really rips that first verse.  That shit is hilarious to me.

[VIA]

-Brock

Now, at the risk of sounding forgiving, you have to realize that they've been given a nearly impossible task. On January 1, 2008, some new legislation kicked in that said they had to have a plan of some sort by August 1, 2008. That's an awfully short time to develop a comprehensive, 30 year plan. So what you'll see on this link is a strategic plan - broad brush strokes that point the way to some future.

That being said, after the meeting (and there were a LOT of angry people there - more on that later), and I said to some guy that I thought the whole plan was a load of horseshit.

I live in an area that's not well-served by public transit. There's the WestCoast Express which runs only during peak hours. The result of that is this morning was a mad dash in time for last train to get me downtown. I'd planned to go into work late and I did - I got there at 9:15am. There's the 701 to Coquitlam Station which is an "express" bus - with 30 stops. There are numerous community shuttles - which are unreliable. One 16 year old at the meeting told a story of how she waited for 45 minutes for a shuttle - late at night that never came.

There is little transit east of 200th Street. And Maple Ridge is supposed to be a city centre.

There were a lot of angry people at that meeting. TransLink wasn't even going to come to Maple Ridge (probably because they knew there was nothing in that plan for Maple Ridge) until the Mayor asked them to come. They looked sufficiently chastised, especially when they were asked no more than 4 times if they'd taken transit out to the meeting (of course not? are you crazy? THEY IS HI POWERED EXECUATIVES!)

But none of that really fazed me - its part of the reality of living here. And I love this town.

What got me what what the accountant guy said:

To me, this isn't a plan, because its not financially sustainable.

Well, no shit, Sherlock. And yet you want to keep increasing my property and fuel taxes, and we don't get any benefit from it?

Other highlights:

• investing $24M in cycling and $29M in WestCoast Express over the next 10 years (do YOU see a discrepancy here?)
• West Van has half the population of Maple Ridge and twice the bus service to downtown Vancouver (I guess that's what money can buy you)
• people out here want to take transit but can't; its offensive that TransLink believes all that's needed is a behavioural shift (FOR SHAME. It goes without saying that in order for people to change their behaviour, you have to give them the resources to do so)
• for what it costs to build one kilometer of underground skytrain (an oxymoron, really), you can build a line of light rail from Maple Ridge to Mission.

Did you know that there's no bus service from Maple Ridge to Mission? And that people in Abbotsford have to go to Mission, then the WestCoast Express to get downtown?

So kudos to Mayor Robson for getting TransLink out here. And more kudos to him for wanting to get Maple Ridge out of TransLink. I can tell you which Mayoral candidate out here will get my vote in November.